Good day to the crumbling of the patriarchy!
Are we going to hold onto it, defend it, and sustain it, or are we going to let it BURN?
Iāve been FIRED UP the past couple of weeks. I have been studying and unpacking menās perpetration of sexual violence and exploitation of girls, women and 2SLGBTQIA+ people for over a decade, but there is something about what weāre collectively unpacking this time that, to me, feels different.
The sexualization of young girls
Weāve long known that girls are sexualized from a young age, but now we also know that brands we revered as young girls (Abercrombie, Victoriaās Secret/PINK, Bath and Body Works, etc) were owned by Les Wexner, who is a part of Epsteinās trafficking operations.
These companies sold us ways of being desirable. Any of us who lacked supportive connections as young people with developing brains were especially vulnerable to learn the warped belief that being sexual was a route to being loved. It wasnāt actually love, just a perversion of it, but if we werenāt taught any better, we couldnāt tell the difference.
The legacy of sexual trauma
Many of us, myself included, racked up years and years of trauma, pain, self-doubt and shame as a result that we are still navigating today. And this manifests not only in our beliefs, but in our bodies.
It manifests as tension, chronic illnesses, anxieties and so much more that is often downplayed, and dismissed, by a medical system that barely bothers to test their treatments for women. The harm just MULTIPLIES.
What really breaks my heart the most, is how much we internalize it.
We blame ourselves. We think we are broken. We doubt ourselves. We know in our bones that something is wrong, but we question if we are over-reacting, we think that since everyone else is acting ānormalā, we must be the thing that is wrong. I hear variants of this this every single day from my clients, and I know it from the inside too.
It feels wrong because it IS WRONG
It feels unsafe because it is. And itās so pervasive itās become normalized. If we arenāt around people who understand it, weāre going to feel crazy.
This heightened moment is a really important opportunity we can take to redirect the shame and blame outwards, where it belongs, on the perpetrators of abuse and their enablers.
We are being presented a fork in the road:
Are we going to continue to close our eyes to the DAILY harm perpetuated by the patriarchy, continuing to feed it, protect it and uphold it within ourselves, making ourselves and the planet sicker and sicker?
Or are we ready to build something else? Something more connected, reciprocal and life sustaining for us and the planet?
Are we going to walk through this portal of massive change and overhaul nearly everything or are we not?
This question can be contemplated on an individual level and a collective one. I really think this is where weāre at.
A better world is possible
Our podcast, Hope is Resistance, is rooted in our belief that there IS another way forward. We can access it by imagining, dreaming, gathering together and creating, using our voices to reshape culture.
Women and queer voices are urgently needed now. But we also have so much healing to do to root out the cages that have kept us small, weak, and compliant.
This has always been my lifeās work, but Iām even more urgently devoting myself to it now. What Iām saying is: support is available. People that āget itā exist, and we can gather ourselves.
Hereās what I have available to you right now:
ā¤ļøāš„ PODCAST
The podcast episode from this week, PORTAL. We are speaking to transformation, and all that comes with it (discomfort) and all that comes from it (liberation). Plus, all of our past episodes.
ā¤ļøāš„ SUMMER RETREAT
My upcoming retreat this June 10th-14th, is also called PORTAL. I named it last year, intuitively, and now the name makes complete sense to me. We need to gather in safe, supportive spaces to heal, transform and quite literally remake the world.
Iāve decided to contain the space to women and 2SLGBTQIA+ people only. Itās designed to reconnect you to your magic through the portals of yoga, ceremony, nature and community.
ā¤ļøāš„ MUSIC
Pascale + Max from the pod have released their song Beauty from their music project VallĆ©e des Loups (Valley of Wolves). It speaks to calling our beauty and power back, and the timing of this release couldnāt be more perfect.
ā¤ļøāš„ FREE RESOURCE LIBRARY
Visit my website for a multimedia resource library that includes articles that address why we minimize our trauma, the shame we carry, how to heal, and then also practices that help us reconnect to our intuition, ground ourselves, and feel safe enough to rest and sleep.
ā¤ļøāš„ INDIVIDUAL THERAPY
I have room for a few more individual trauma therapy clients. If you need someone who ~gets it~, I would love to support you in healing and reconnecting to your power right now.
ššš AMPLIFY: Are you talking about these recent events with your friends? Drop the link to this substack publication in the group chat so we can begin moving forward together ā¤ļøāš„ā¤ļøāš„ā¤ļøāš„
Furiously yours,
Cassie Connor, M.A. (she/her)
registered psychotherapist (qualifying), yoga therapist (C-IAYT)
nestholistic.ca
